Opening John and Yoko’s Box

Opening John and Yoko’s Box

When John Lennon released the album “Some Time in New York City” in 1972, it was widely considered the nadir of his career. Indeed, almost a deliberate torching of his career, what with the naive, cliched radical-chic lyrics (“it ain’t fair, John Sinclair, in the stir for breathing air / free John now, if we can, from the clutches of The Man”) and the sharing of vocals with his wife, Yoko Ono. Her screeching and warbling took the deliberate provocation of the protest songs to another level of sonic assault and (occasionally) aesthetic offensiveness.

The album was a massive flop, commercially and critically, and no doubt its blistering reception helped precipitate the Lennons’ subsequent separation. On these songs, Lennon sounds massively self-confident, but it’s the self confidence of a man who has known nothing but success since his late teens (a decade, basically) and is now rich, famous, and surrounded by sycophants and hangers-on. Sadly, Lennon would never recover that confidence; on his subsequent albums he’s a whipped dog compared to the man celebrating life in “New York City” (the album’s best track).

The Lennons’ son Sean did a smart thing in assembling this new box set, which features two live shows at Madison Square Garden, plus demos, home recordings and other music from the period. The album itself gets lost in the shuffle, I assume deliberately, but it also gets contextualized. With a wider view of the couple’s activism, it appears less opportunistic and shallow than it did at the time. In 1972, John and Yoko looked like fools; now their commitment and even their naïveté appear kind of sweet. Also, the new mixes reveal the awesome musicianship underpinning the songs—too bad Sean didn’t do a disk with the vocals removed, because musically it all rocks, and there are several gorgeous melodies (“Angela,” “The Luck of the Irish,” “Now or Never”).

There’s been controversy about Sean and his team removing the album’s first track, and its only single: “Woman is the Ni**er of the World,” due to the title. I’m personally not a fan of that kind of historical revisionism, and so many other objectionable words and phrases survive that it seems like overkill. “WITNOTW” was an attempt at a feminist statement that Lennon later disowned as shallow and unfelt, but like much of this music, the sentiments are valid. The execution was the problem.

Lennon’s concept was to just dash the songs off, like bulletins from the forefront of the Left’s struggle with “the Man,” and that accounts for the lyrics being mostly repetitive and half-baked… that, and his wife’s inability to improve his writing the way Paul McCartney had. On the other hand, Lennon’s vocals and his playing are fantastic—he soars as a musician even as he faceplants as a “thinker” or a serious political figure.

There’s another issue with this music, one that doesn’t get discussed much: as with “Double Fantasy” the basic trouble is that John and Yoko’s styles don’t mesh. I say this as someone who actually likes Yoko—she’s written many beautiful songs, and is often very powerful and moving. She has a feminine perspective and doesn’t apologize for it; her fierceness is refreshing, and her goofy flower-child thing is kind of endearing. Her album “Season of Glass” moved me very deeply and even changed me; it’s better than any single Lennon album. But whatever Ono’s personal chemistry with her husband, she didn’t have artistic or musical chemistry with him.

Many people have concluded that this was due to a disparity of talent, but it’s more that her talent is spiky and experimental and purposefully askew… I can’t imagine anyone collaborating successfully with her. Lennon added almost nothing to her work (except his awesome guitar on “Walking on Thin Ice”). As for her effect on him, he mostly used her avant-garde performance art to give himself permission to display the less attractive sides of his talent: the self-indulgence, the smug hectoring, the facile laziness, the unpleasant soul-baring, and of course the primal screaming.

All this might sound like I’m slamming this set, and really I’m not. It revisits a seriously flawed album and makes it listenable—even understandable and sympathetic. Musically it achieves the amazing feat of being not bad at all. And historically, it shows a famous couple gambling everything on their own celebrity… and going down in flames, gloriously. The balls-to-the-wall honesty and fearlessness of it had the perverse effect of increasing my affection for both of them.

Body Surfing

This weekend while visiting San Diego, I hung out at a beach house that had access to the sand just across the street. I walked down the path and found myself on the exact same stretch of beach I’d visited one year ago with co-workers at my former company, when a car dropped us off after someone said let’s go see the water. This is in a densely populated area of La Jolla, not a place I ever went to during my 30 years in California. Absolutely no connection between the events that led me there. What are the odds of finding yourself, utterly randomly, on the same 50 yards of an 800-mile coastline exactly one year later?

We went bodysurfing the next day. The waves were strong and breaking close to the shore. One of them got me, and I went tumbling helplessly; it’s a terrifying and humbling feeling. I swam back out and took the waves more seriously and rode them fine after that, but it was a reminder that I’m small and insignificant, and forces are at work that are unimaginably bigger and more powerful than I am. They’re indifferent to me as a person.

Or, you know, are they? Why did they bring me back to that exact same little stretch of beach?

I knew why, right away: to show me how far I’ve come in the past year. To give me some reassurance that the huge changes I’ve been through are real, and maybe a reminder to be grateful… like a parent might draw a line on the wall for her kid and then stand him up to the wall a year later and say look how you’ve grown.

This is a metaphysical universe. The physical is showing us the spiritual, revealing it to us, all the time. But most of the time we don’t have the faintest idea what we’re seeing. And then when you do get a glimpse of those forces, it’s still like me and those waves… understanding them on a visceral level rather than an intellectual level. Watching them build and swell and come at me over and over, learning how to ride them and not get creamed by them. Understanding the subtle differences between the things I have power over and the things I don’t.

Sometimes it can seem discouraging to have to learn the same lessons over and over, but a surfer doesn’t look at waves that way. Surfers are the real metaphysicians. They understand that every new wave is an opportunity to try again, and maybe get it right this time.

 

 

 

Life After Irma

Some random thoughts on this first “real” morning for the past week in Central Florida, after Irma came through.

That was a trauma we went through here in the state of Florida. Knowing a huge storm was coming was like being forced to play Russian roulette. Like having a gun pointed at your head for a week. Sunday night, the last news I could get was that it had veered off track and was headed right for us. Then the internet went down. As a matter of fact, it seems to have come right over my house, but thankfully it had weakened enough that it didn’t flatten everything.

There’s a tendency after a traumatic event to push it away, to bury it in being busy (and now there’s a lot more to do, which makes that easier). The thought goes something like this: “well I didn’t die, I’m not even really hurt, so it must have been nothing.” But that’s the brain trying to heal so it can move on. I’m doing the opposite. I’m sitting with it. I’m honoring it by giving it some attention. I’m not denying that I feel roughed up, that my emotions are off-kilter. I’m moving back into my routine slowly and mindfully.

We drove around the immediate ten-mile area yesterday. If there’s such a thing as driving gingerly, that’s what we did. It was a gorgeous afternoon… nothing like a hurricane to make the air sparkle and shine. Storm damage generally got lighter as you traveled to the east. Not much damage in Sanford, the next town over, except for one street where an entire line of big trees was uprooted and lay fallen toward the south, like dominoes. A little micro tornado must have gone up the block. Those are the worst; I hate those little mofos.

This storm showed me that I’ve gotten complacent about the threat of hurricanes. I’m taking them more seriously now. Back when I lived in California I was totally prepared for a major earthquake, so it’s not like I don’t know how to do this. There’s a whole list of precautions and actions you can take. It’s not complicated. But I wasn’t ready for this, and I had to scramble, and it added to a feeling of powerlessness. I had a dream last night in which I was supposed to give a keynote speech at a dinner, and I had forgotten to print out my script and couldn’t access it online; the time of my talk kept coming closer and closer and I felt this dread of letting everyone down who was depending on me, this fear of total unpreparedness. Don’t need Freud to figure that one out.

I’m not specifically worried about the next storm, Jose. Right now that looks like it’s no threat to Florida. I’m not panicking about that one. But I do expect more big hurricanes will be coming through here more often. I’m not leaving Florida, in fact I’m planning to die here—of natural causes—so it’s necessary to start living differently. Be more on guard; have more contingency plans. If a micro tornado hits my house all bets are off, but I should be ready for a big, blustery old storm now and then.

Another random thought: for the past week, the furthest thing from my mind was Donald J. Trump and whether he might squeeze on a pair of jeans and come down to hand me and my neighbors some bottled water. The ins and outs of politics seemed very far away, and my concerns were exclusively local. I’m not reading the news in general. I know what I want to know, which is that the people I care about all came through this intact. The beauty of this post-traumatic moment is that we all know the same thing: with that gun pointed at our heads, we thought only of each other, and wished each other well. Something to ponder as we pick up the pieces.

No One is Safe

I got the message early, standing on the roof of our house as a boy, holding a garden hose and helping my father water down the wooden shingles as a huge fire burned all around us, the air black and full of cinders. And later, as earthquakes ejected me from the shower or shook the contents of my house into a heap. Huddling in the core of a hallway as a hurricane bore down. Holding a rag to my face on 9/11 so I wouldn’t inhale the pulverized dust of the World Trade Center as I ran through the streets of Manhattan.

I got the message: no one is safe.

We all want to be safe; it’s at the core of what it means to be human. We want safety for ourselves, for our loved ones. And yet it’s an illusion, safety. It’s temporary. Our passage into this world is dangerous, our time here is fraught with violence and threat, and our inevitable exit causes pain to ourselves and those we love. So we need to remind ourselves that safety is not the highest value.

I don’t want to be safe. I want to be strong. I want to be strong enough to know I can look into a fire or earthquake or hurricane without flinching. I want to be strong enough to look straight into the eyes of someone who does not love me and be unmoved. I want the peace of knowing that whatever happens, I’ll be alright because while I was here and while the power was in me, I stayed true to myself and did my best and loved the people I love with my whole heart.

I don’t want safety. I want wisdom. I want to have wisdom enough to see that the desire for revenge and more violence are deeply powerless stances, no matter how “tough” they look on the outside. I want wisdom enough to acknowledge that terror and violence reside in my own heart… and while I can’t eradicate them there any more than I can eradicate them from the world, I can overcome them. Time and again. Though false ideas of loss and indignity and offense keep coming back and fanning the flames of my own resentment and anger and hatred, I can put those flames out. Somewhere inside me I have the wisdom to know that’s all I can do that will make any real difference. Really living peace and love… not just saying the words, but living them when your soul cries out for justice and meaning and there doesn’t seem to be any… these are heroic acts.

The world seems to fall apart with increasing frequency. The world outside me, and the one in my head. What can I do about it, today or any other day when it seems so hopeless? Only the small, little heroic things that we all can do, the only things that matter in the end. Put out the flames. Sweep up the debris. Walk back out into the sunshine. Hand the rag I’m using to cover my mouth to someone else who hasn’t got one. Put my arm around somebody who’s even more broken than I am. Tell them No one is safe… but you’re safe with me.

Diamonds Are Forever

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No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to DIET!

If you weren’t there, you can’t imagine how exciting it was to arrive at the theater when this movie opened in 1971. To my wide adolescent eyes, the poster alone (featuring a gazillion diamonds in space, stuff blowing up, and Sean Connery flanked by Lana Wood and Jill St. John in bikinis) promised an evening of pure guilty pleasure.

Sad to say that 40-some years later it’s a guilty pleasure of a different kind… indifferently directed, filled with unattractive performances, and with a dud script that’s especially painful after On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. The Nixon-era Vegas locations are so surreally ugly that you half expect Hunter S. Thompson and his Samoan attorney to come ripping through in their great red shark.

And to paraphrase Hemingway, any movie that leaves you idly speculating that it would have been better with George Lazenby is a bad movie.

From Dr. No through Thunderball, Sean Connery had the grace and alertness of a panther on the prowl. In Diamonds are Forever, he’s just a jaded middle-aged movie star walking through a role he no longer takes seriously. Paunchy, jowly and sporting a greasy toupee, he looks more helplessly irritated as the movie drags on. Toward the end, when two girls send him crashing into tables and chairs, you realize that if he was any fatter and his pink tie any shorter, he’d be Oliver Hardy.

On the plus side… Jill St. John is a nice surly Bond girl — just the woman to help you start to get over Diana Rigg. Always a terrible actress, here she basically gives up, and unlike Connery, lazy indifference suits her. (If Bob Hope had only played Blofeld and growled leeringly at her, the movie would be perfect.) Although the chases inaugurate the “Smokey and the Bandit” vibe of the 70s, they do feature a cool red Mustang and a clumsy Moon Buggy. I still have the Corgi Toys of both. Finally, there’s the fantastic title song. If you listen to the words, it expresses not just the Bond character’s jaded contempt, but that of the whole cast and crew.

So, if I haven’t made it clear, I love this sleazy movie. Is it worthy to stand with a series that includes OHMSS, Goldfinger, and Casino Royale? Irrelevant, Mr. Bond!